November 17, 2003 — I had just finished up my third weekend off as an R.A. and it had been so much fun. I had not laughed so hard for so long in such a long time! In the weeks leading up to this weekend off, I had still been spending time occasionally with the other guy by inviting him over to the dorm, watching a movie and going for a walk, but I had also been doing the same thing with Micah. In fact, Micah was starting to spend more time around the dorm and was not just helping my dorm dad with ‘guy projects’ anymore, but now was helping me make food in the kitchen. He and I had also gone out for dinner a couple times, but through it all he would occasionally mention how he had been to the other girls dorm and had been helping that R.A. with food preparation and playing games with her during the girls’ study hours. I didn’t really know what to think at this point.
The destination of my third weekend off all started because Micah needed to go down to Bellinzona, Switzerland and explore the castles there, as he would be in charge of teaching the middle school kids about them in the spring. I thought castles in Southern Switzerland sounded like fun, so we found a couple other RAs who wanted to take their weekends off at the same time and were willing to spend their weekend off in Bellinzona.
Over the course of the two days we drove through the Alps, walked around Lugano, explored an old church, ate lunch in Italy, rested, played games, and explored two of the three castles located in Bellinzona in the rain. Through it all we laughed and laughed and laughed some more. At times, I laughed so hard that I was crying and my abs hurt from the workout! I was sorry to see our weekend come to an end, but our dorms and Micah’s classes were waiting so we headed back toward home.
That night Micah and I were sitting and talking before he had to head to school to do some class prep and he asked me if I would go to the Christmas banquet with him. As much as I wanted to say “yes” to him, the other guy had already asked me about a month earlier. I had initially said “yes” to the other guy, but after thinking about it I realized that it might not be such a great idea since all the students would see us together and assume that we were dating. I had expressed my concerns to the other guy and he had agreed. With all these things, I just didn’t feel right saying that I would go with Micah for much the same reason, but also because I didn’t want to hurt the feelings of the other guy. For some reason now I was even more confused about what Micah was thinking about me!